The Locksmith

By the title I'm sure you can tell this is going to be interesting.  Yesterday my boxes came.  Well the UPS man leaves them downstairs so I have to go down the stairs to get them.  So, I throw on a pair of shoes and run down the stairs to grab them.  Well of course as soon as I close the door I remember, this door locks back automatically, which means now I'm locked out.  Step 1, get all the boxes upstairs.  Which by the way, props to me because each one (there were 3) weighed 40 pounds.  Step 2, knock on the neighbors door and ask to borrow her phone.  Side note, our neighbor across the hall is so nice and she just moved in too. Step 3, call the locksmith.  He tells me he will be here in 15.  Now here is where the drama starts.  I stood downstairs for 20 minutes waiting on him.  Five minutes late. I knew this was going to be bad.  As we're walking up the stairs he asks me how it happened and I told him.  The following I will put in dialog just so you get the full effect of the craziness.

Locksmith man: (shining his flashlight in my lock) "You see, you have a kind of lock that can't be picked."
Me: "Of course it can't."
The Man: "What I would have to do is either break the lock or take a drill and drill off the whole thing to get you in the door. And I would have to see your ID first."
Me: "Okay well everything is inside that door so I can't show you anything."
Man: "And it would be a $55 service fee and then $125 to break the lock."
Me: (almost in tears) "Umm no. I'll just wait for my roommate."
->Yes, I was actually going to sit in the hall for 4 hours and wait for my roommate to get home. I refused to pay this man $200.
Man: "Well you still have to pay the $55 service fee."
Me: "Yes, well as I stated before, EVERYTHING is inside that door. So, you can sit and wait for 4 hours with me or you can leave and come back because you aren't breaking that lock and I have nothing except these 3 boxes and you aren't getting their contents."
->Magically his phone rings and he has an emergency.
Man: "Listen, I have an emergency. Can you pay cash?"
Me: "Yes, but EVERYTHING IS INSIDE THAT DOOR and you aren't breaking my lock."
Man: "Okay well if you can pay cash, I will open this door right now for $55."
Me: "Okay than do it!"
-> I was willing to right the $55 off as a life lesson and move on.  Next, you would suppose the man pulls out his drill or lock breaking tools. No. Want to know what he pulls out? A piece of sheet metal. Yes, sheet metal.  A small 4x2 piece of sheet metal.  Now I'm sure you are thinking how is this man going to break the lock with a piece of sheet metal.  Well guess what. He doesn't break the lock.  He takes this lovely piece of sheet metal and slides it between the door jam and the lock and wiggles it a little and magically opens my unopenable door. Without breaking a damn thing.  This stupid man was about to charge me $200 to break my lock when he was able to open it with a piece of sheet metal. I was furious! I mean wouldn't you be? This man was straight up taking advantage of me! Either way, I got in, payed the man his cash, and he left.

So, lesson learned. A) Don't leave without your keys. EVER. Even if you are just going to check the mail. B) Never trust the locksmith. EVER. Because now you know he can always open the door with a piece of sheet metal. C) Be sure to lock the deadbolt because a man can always get in the bottom lock with a piece of sheet metal.