Thursday, April 28, 2011

The Things People Say...

I don't know what it is, but apparently there is something about me that just screams to strangers "Hey you should make random conversation with me." I mean I guess it's a good thing because I guess it means I'm an approachable person, but sometimes it gets weird.  I don't get your normal "Hi, how are you?" or "This weather is crazy isn't it?" No. This is what I get (and yes, all of these have happened):

While waiting to cross the street: "Oh, I love the color on your toes. It's so pretty and spring like. You know I'm a yoga teacher and people are constantly looking at my feet because I'm normally not wearing shoes. I mean I am today, but I always have to have a pedicure because I'm always barefoot. Except for today of course. But I think I may have to get that color next time. It's very nice. Who makes it? I'm sure all my yoga students would love to see that.  It looks very calming and when they are looking at my feet it would calm them!"

While waiting for an elevator from across the lobby: "Hi there pretty.  Why you look so sad? I mean I know it's raining outside and it's kind of a sad day, that doesn't mean that you need to be looking all sad. You too pretty to not have a smile on your face.  I mean it. Smile. I always smile. I swear I'm not trying to pick you up. I'm just saying. I would take you to dinner sometime but not if you frowning. You too pretty for that."
-> After that I continued to frown and look away just so he would stop. He didn't. And this was the slowest elevator ever!!!!

While at the airport during a 9 hour delay: "So where are you going today?" Jacksonville. "Oh yeah, Jacksonville? I like it there. A lot. Ya know I go there sometimes. Maybe I could call you while in town and you could show me around." I thought you go there all the time? "I do but still." Umm no. Cue the walking away.

While on the subway: "Look at my phone. It has service! Do you see this? My phone has service on the subway. You know this has never happened to me before. It's kinda weird. You know what I think, in a couple years, everybody is going to have service on the subway and when we ride, we are all going to be talking to each other! Isn't that the craziest thing?" No, but know what is the craziest thing? How you won't shut up!

While also on the subway: "Oh hey mommy! You looking good! Me and some of my boys are going down to the corner. Want to come? Mommy you lookin' good! What's your name? Why you won't talk to me?" Why won't I talk to you? Because you are 14 and calling me "mommy." Hey news flash, a girl doesn't find it to be a turn on when you call her "mommy" or "momma." I'm a little to young to be a mother and even if I was of age, you sure as hell would not be the father of my baby.  So put that "mommy" in your back pocket and save it for the girl you knock up in a couple years!

This is only the beginning. I don't even remember all of the strange things people say to me. Seriously, what is this?!

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