Planes, Trains, and Cars…Literally.

That’s what it took.  I wake up at 4:30 am. Leave my apartment at 5:30 am.  Walk to the 6, take the 6 to 51^st, transfer to the E at 53^rd, ride the E for 45 minutes to the JFK AirTrain, take the JFK AirTrain to Terminal 3, board a 2 hour flight to Atlanta, sit in the Atlanta airport for 3 hours (yes, I was delayed twice and the earlier flight got cancelled), take a 1 hour flight to Tallahassee, hop in a cab to campus, and finally get driven home by Rob.  Twelve hours later, two planes, three trains, a cab, and a truck and I’m here. So here is what I encountered on my journey.

So, I board my flight at JFK and I’m sitting in my seat minding my own business, and this woman yells, “Do you want to sit there?” Naturally since this woman is yelling I turn to look at her not thinking she’s talking to me.  She say’s it again. “Do you want to sit there?” Looking straight at me, I finally figure out she is talking to me.  I stare at her dumbfounded because obviously I want to sit there. It’s my seat. My assigned seat.  And no, I do not plan on giving it to you. It’s an aisle. Since I’m not saying anything to her, she yells once again, “Fine, you can sit there, what’s your seat number?”

Me: “19D” (By the way, I was sitting in 19D at the time this conversation is taking place.)

Woman: “That’s my seat, but I’ll give it to you.”

Me (showing my boarding pass): “I’m sorry, but my boarding pass says 19D”

Woman (now looking at her boarding pass): “Oh. Well I suppose I’ll sit over here in 19A then”

Exactly. My guess is 19A was her actual seat and she was either (A) trying to scam me out of my aisle seat because aisle rock or (B) forgot her glasses at home and her husband was too embarrassed by her yelling to correct her. Dear people of the world, please read your boarding pass before unnecessarily yelling way too loud for 7 am at the girl trying to sleep for sitting in the correct seat.

Here is another lovely letter I have composed to travelers in Atlanta.

Dear People in the Atlanta Airport,

Escalators are made wide enough for two people side by side.  This is not for you to hold your girlfriends hand and kiss her while riding up. This is not so more people can fit on the escalator.  This is not for you to stand beside your buddy and have a conversation about basketball.  This is for travelers who do not like to stand on escalators.  For the people who like to walk up.  They are made wide so that people who are standing, stand on the one side while people who are walking, walk up the other.  It’s simple. Plus it’s highly inconvenient when you are running to catch an earlier flight and people are too lazy to move over five steps to let you by.