But I've been busy. And really for a while nothing that interesting or funny was happening in my life. Until now. First let me give you a little update. I'm back from the city and chillin' in Tallahassee, living with R and his brother, working for a very prominent Tallahassee company in the event industry. I will not (for safety purposes) name the company. I will however tell you it is not an event planning firm (I'm still working on opening my own, so if you have an event that needs planning, call me.). Other than that, based on the stories to be told, it is up to you to figure out the type of company I am working for.
Let's begin with this. I was hired under the pretense that this would be a full time position. Much needed for someone at my age with my spending habit. Thankfully my living expenses are minimal because I have two roommates and I've become a coupon-er. Based on that you should now realized that I am not working full time as promised. Basically, this is how it goes...
Me: "What time should I come in tomorrow?"
Boss Lady: "Ehh. I've decided I don't want to work tomorrow. I'll let you know about the next day."
Next day...
Me: "What time should I come in tomorrow?"
Boss Lady: "Ehh. How about I see you Monday at 10."
You get the point. And honestly, by the work habits of this company, I'm not quite sure how they have become so successful.
Moving on. I can't even begin to explain to you the interesting (for lack use of a better word) things I have had to put up with. So, let's just start with today...
Boss Lady: "I need you to go to Sam's and get the following (provides me with a list)"
Me: "Okay sure."
Now at Sam's...
Me: "I know you said the apples come 15 to a bag, but there are only 8 in a bag."
Boss Lady (in a very loud New York accent): "There are 15 in a bag. I just bought some the other day!"
Me: "I understand, but I am standing here looking at the apples and there are only 8 in a bag."
BL: "Well clearly you can't find them. Ask somebody."
Me: "I already asked the produce man and the woman sampling and selling apples from the kiosk and this is the largest bag of apples they have in this kind. We can get 10 to a bag if you want Gala apples."
BL: "They are on an end cap of the produce."
Me: "The end caps have bananas and kiwis."
BL: "Well I don't care what kind you get me, just get them! I don't have time to put up with these kind of conversations"
Well clearly you care because before I left you told me 3 times what kind of apples you wanted...
Now on to the cornbread...
Me: "Sam's doesn't carry cornbread mix."
BL: "Yes they do! I had it in my hand the other day about to buy it!"
Me: "I don't know what to tell you. I've walked up and down each aisle and there is no cornbread. So I asked the grocery lady. She told me they don't carry cornbread."
BL: "Well employees don't know anything!" (Oh really? And you do? That's funny because they are here everyday and you are here every other month.) "Listen. You need to walk up and down each aisle again and then ask a manager."
Me: "Okay. I will do that, then call you back." (I was wearing heels so clearly the walking didn't happen, but the manager asking did...)
(I should state that during this phone call, I was actually speaking to the other girl in the office who we shall call Jane. And I told her to ask Boss Lady if she was confusing Costco with Sam's seeing as she has memberships at both and is slightly (by which I mean out of her freakin' mind) crazy. She refused because she was too scared.)
Me: "I talked to a manager and he said they don't carry it."
BL: "But I had it in my hand the other day! Whatever, you just don't know what you're looking for or who to ask! I had that in my hand the other day and now you can't seem to find it. I guess I will just have to do it myself since clearly you aren't capable."
(In my head I'm thinking please be my guest you crazy psycho. They don't carry it.)
Anyways, on the way back, for my own personal satisfaction, I took the liberty of calling Costco. They do, unlike Sam's, carry Jiffy cornbread mix, as I suspected. I neglected to tell her this because (a) she would probably tell me I am a terrible, rude, inconsiderate employee and (b) because I simply don't give a rat's ass if she ever gets her cornbread mix. Oh yeah, and when I got back she made me count the number of apples in the bag in her fridge. There were 10...
Until next time... xo
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